About Me

D.O.B: One score and four years ago
Place of Birth: Away in a manger
Height: Too tall for any McDonalds play place
Weight: Svelte
Eyes: Hungry
Hair: Perfect

Occupation: King of England
Favourite Colour: Beige
Weapon of Choice: Pointy Stick
Likes: Pushing buttons, Bob Ross, Magic 105.4, Per Mertesacker and Batman. I fucking love Batman.
Dislikes: The "1%"

Facts: Carbon-based, machine washable, fully vaccinated, voice activated, backwards compatible, slightly peppery, rechargeable, melt in your mouth, afraid of ghosts, piquant, wi-fi enabled and fond of Godzilla
Mantra: "Beer after wine and you'll feel fine; wine after beer and you'll feel queer"

Notes: I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two-hundred-fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half-mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?!
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