iHaz iPhone 4! iPwn.

[Taken with the iPhone 4's swanky 5mpx camera =D]

After my failed attempt to get an iPhone 4 on launch day, I have finally managed to get my grubby little hands on one. And boy was it not without effort!

It all started one fine June morning, the twenty-fourth if I do recall correctly. Setting my alarm for stupid-o'clock (7:15am), I shot out the house and down to Tottenham Court Road as fast as my little legs could carry me. Using my iPhone 3G's GPS to try and find the 02 store, I end up taking a fifteen minute detour as the blasted contraption lead me in the opposite direction, only for the shop to be right on the main fucking street anyway. Yeah, and I wanted the upgrade of this . Anyhow, upon arriving at the scene I realised that a line several thousand deep in people more idiotic than I had been queueing for what looked like the whole night. Knowing that it would be futile to bother joining the back of the queue, I, thinking I was being smart, decided to go to a smaller branch in Liverpool Street, the same store I had attempted three times to get my old 3G from. Before continuing on my endeavour, I popped my head round the corner of Oxford Circus tube station to see an even more ridonkulous line at Apple's flagship London store. Idiots with more money than sense were actually going to buy the handset outright for around £400-£500.

So, self-assured in my tactical genius in thinking that Liverpool Street, an area full of business people with no time to be queueing for the shmexy iPhone 4, off I went. Balls. A large queue. Not thousands of like-minded idiots this time, albeit only hundreds. So, people were getting them before work eh? 'Where don't people work?' I thought to myself. Camden! Boom. Maybe a queue of fifty people moving an inch every half-hour. This would have to do. So there I stood, and there I made friends with like-minded Apple fan boys (and girls). Such was the jovial atmosphere that a woman in the group I was communicating with offered to go on a coffee run (I had a frappuccino), so long as we promised to save here place. Silly cow. No, we did. We weren't that cruel. So, we wait in line outside this 02 store, and right next door is a sorry looking empty T-Mobile shop. Oh how we snickered. I cancel my coming engagements for the day (I know, pathetic) as I stand there thinking to myself how sick this whole affair is that I'm being taken in by this mass-consumerism and how all these people are literally spending their entire day in a queue for something they don't even need. As I get my foot in the door of the store a rumour circulates the line; "Out of 32GB models". FFFFFFUUUUUU!

Suddenly, a head pops round the corner from the Phones4U shop adjacent to 02 saying they were expecting a shipment at 12:30. Yes, by this stage I had been in the iPhone 4 hunt for over five hours now. Apparently they would upgrade you even if you signed your contract at 02 (which was why everyone was only queueing at the 02 store, because they thought it had to be done there). After discussing briefly with the Phones4U dude at what time they would expect a delivery, and he had told me "within the next ninety minutes, mate", I parked my arse next door in Costa Coffee, and being the cheap bastard that I am, ordered only water. Fifty minutes go by before I decide to check. "Sorry, the deliveries have come already and we've sold them all...mate". FFFFFFUUUUU! How did I miss that?! I was right next door! Did you conspire to sneak them in via surreptitious methods? Bastards!

Pissed, I retire to my 'endz', and walk into my local Phones4U there. Apparently they had deliveries in the morning as well. I bet no one queued. I wouldn't have had to trek all over god damned London in search of it. Could have got up a bit later and been the first one in. Bah! So they took a deposit and promised to call me when they got stock. They didn't. So a week later I called them, and lo and behold, they saved one for me which I picked up today. Even though I had to spend the best part of an hour and a half in the shop while they were put on hold waiting to be connected to 02 HQ, just so they could verify my upgrade. Jeez. Also, I only paid £54 for the handset in the end, which was two-thirds cheaper than I expected. Huzzah!

And that, children, is the story of how Grand-papa got his iPhone 4. As you can see, it was a highly emotional experience, totally not fucking worth it.