Monday, 23 May 2011

Apocalypse (Not) Now

According to Harold Camping, rolling earthquakes were supposed to occur across the globe at 18:00 (is that Greenwich Mean Time of what?) on the 21st of May 2011, signalling the arrival of Judgment Day. Around the same time, Camping, like many before him, predicted that the 'Rapture' would occur, whereby 200million Christians around the world would literally float off into the sky toward heaven. What's curious though are the ideas surrounding the Rapture and how they have become so ingrained in Christian dogma, particularly in America. Well, maybe not so much America...

While there is fleeting reference to it in the Bible, (1 Thessalonians 4:15-7; "...and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord"), the whole prophecy and concepts surrounding this time of tribulation were only really threshed out in the 19th Century. None of this crazy evangelical rubbish is actually canon to the Bible. The idea behind a 'Rapture' has been further contortedly amalgamated into holy doctrine through a fictional series of books known as the 'Left Behind' series, written by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins during the mid-1990s. Indeed, as with most religious dogma, some nutcase decided to make up a bunch of bullshit and idiots began believing it was fact.

And, like religious freaks the world over, someone latched onto this fictitious load of codswallop and decided to make an end of the world prediction. Camping embarked on a world-wide advertising campaign to spread the word of the impending doomsday, proclaiming in billboards "Have you heard the awesome news? The End of the World is almost here! The Bible guarantees it!". Gee, how awesome. So confident were Atheists in North Carolina nothing would happen that they held a 'The Rapture After Party - The Best Damned Party in NC'. Equally assured doomsday sayers expecting to be 'Raptured' were reported to have withdrawn their life savings from banks and sold all their property.

Suffice to say, the 21st of May 2011 passed without incident as some managed to capitalize on religious stupidity, clearing out dogmatic twits of their worldly-possessions for knock-down prices. Still, I suppose at least they still have God...

< sniggers >


AP said...

Well, according to everyone's favourite doom-monger, God's just being nice and will smite us all in 5 months time.

We'll have hardly mastered Fifa 12 by then!