England Hooligan

Patriotism is an idiotic notion in its own right. But once every two years, for one month only, I lapse. About the only time I actually feel as if I want to get behind something is either the European Championships or the World Cup. Unfortunately, due to the random circumstances surrounding my birth, by default that 'something' has to be England.

I say default, but I suppose that's not technically true. Being half Polish I do have a second option, and I indeed took the underdogs back in 2006. Alas, Poland are shit, not even qualifying this year. So in an effort to potentially increase my chances of revelling in someone else's glory this summer, (which being England isn't realistically feasible), I begrudgingly invested in my other half's national colours for a reasonably extortionate price. At least the girl who asked if I needed any help was mega cute.

I'm off to trash a South African town centre and fight riot police with my compatriots. COMON' ENGLAND!